RJ Cole Winery

Insights into the world of an amateur home winemaker.

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Location: Charlotte, North Carolina, United States

Cole Wines anagrams to Senile Cow.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Passing the time

SO as I said before, there's not much left to do now but wait on the Pumpkin Wine. One of the things I have done is start thinking about what type of wine to make next. I decided to check out the new recipe book at Winepress. So I'm scrolling through there and I come upon this one. The creator is Bob Lockwood and he's from somewhere in the UK (United Kingdom, not University of Kentucky.) This was so funny I had to post it here!

Prune Juice Wine
Lockwood1956

DAY1
Place prunes in primary
add sugar citric acid and raisins
Stir and leave for 24 hours
add yeast and cover
DAY2
Stir must...feel slightly queasy
DAY3
Stir must...feel even more queasy
DAY4
Stir must...stomach cramps
DAY5
rack to secondary..........involuntary muscle spasms
DAYS 6-10
more of the same
DAY11
check S.G.
feel need to buy fresh underwear
DAY16
stabilize
feel need to avoid sneezing
DAY21
bottle
take sneak preview taste
later in day have explosive toilet episode
DAY32
re-bottle due to unsightly sediment
take sneaky taste
later in day blame unearthly smells on the dog
DAY42
again rebottle due to smell permeating through glass
take sneak taste
later in day dog points at YOU regarding smells
DAY48
buy new underwear
rehouse dog who by this time is making fun of you constantly
DAY52
cat moves out
DAY62
win gold medal in winemaker mag competition
DAY73
confuse panel of experts in blind taste test who all swear it is a Rioja
DAY102
use to clear drains and decide to use remainder as top up for future wines

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